iWould Lie
by ColorsOfTheSky101
Summary: So there it is. My best kept secret out in the open, after all this time. Just like that. Unfortunately I can’t let it stay there. At least not now. So what do I do? I lie. Supposed one-sided Seddie.


**Summary: **So there it is. My best kept secret out in the open, after all this time. Just like that. Unfortunately I can't let it stay there. At least not now. So what do I do? I lie. Supposed one-sided Seddie.

**A/N:** Hey! So a while back, I got a request from Shizuku Tsukishima749 to do a songfic for a couple of Taylor Swift songs, including "I'd Lie." I listened to this song just now and thought of a really great idea. So thanks, Shizuku!

I'll post the lyrics of the song and a link to it at the end of the story, if you're interested. It's kind of an interesting thinking about it being in Sam's POV.

_Flashbacks are italicized_

**Disclaimer:** iDon't Own iCarly.

**iWould Lie**

**by Colors**

"Hey Dorko." I drop my bag carelessly on the ground as I step into Carly's apartment, as I do every afternoon. "'Sup?"

"Nothing. Have you see Carly?" he asks, as he types something on his laptop. Probably some iCarly stuff. I'm pretty miffed though. I mean, he doesn't even look up at me. He's too busy obsessing over his computer…and Carly. Oh great, so now I'm jealous of not only my best friend, but a random piece of technology. My dignity just went bye-bye.

You know, it's stupid, but I kind of wish he always came to Carly's because _I_ always come to Carly's. And not because of _Carly_. But, unfortunately, that's why he's here. He just loves her so much, doesn't he?

"No." I say, probably sounding a smidge too mean, but I don't really care. "Unlike you, I don't spend my day stalking Carly."

"I don't stalk her!" he argues, glaring at me. And here it goes…the only thing I have left to resort to; arguing.

"Dude, you hired a woodman to enlarge your peephole just so you could watch her walk by!" I shoot back and sit down, satisfied. He glares harder, and I know I've won. Yeah, I seem to win every argument…just never the guy I'm arguing with.

I'm not exactly sure when this whole crush thing started. It could be I was in denial for, like, years. All I know is, I like him. A _lot_. He balances me out. Like, I dunno, we're both so different that we complete each other.

I mean, think about it.

He's a dork, and I'm a rebel. He's great in school, and I could care less about letters on tests and homework. His mom cares too much, while mine doesn't care enough. He's into computers; I'm more of the type of person to throw a computer out the window. He's assertive, I'm agressive. He knows more about school stuff, but I know way more about people. He has a very one-sided, black-and-white way of looking at life, while I prefer colors. The list could go on for centuries, but I think you get it.

The point is, he doesn't see any of that. He only sees Carly, who's awesome, don't get me wrong…but…well…she doesn't even know him! She might _think_ she does, but she doesn't.

Oh, speaking of Carly…

"Guys, guess what I got?" she rushes in excitedly, a bag in her hand. She plops ignorantly between Freddie and me on the couch.

"What did you get?" Freddie asks, smiling as he looks up. My heart's sinking to the floor. I really shouldn't be surprised though. It's always like this.

And it's not even that I'm a third wheel or anything. When I'm hanging out with them, I'm always included, and we have a blast. It's only when Freddie blurts out "I love you!" during iCarly rehearsal, or when he posts paragraphs about how great Carly is on the iCarly blog that I get that feeling of just…not being in on something, I guess. I'm sort of like a passenger; not driving, just along for the ride.

Yet I stay. I always stay, 'cause it's as close as I'll ever get. I hate it, but I just can't stand being away from him and his eyes and smile and that balance he gives me.

"Ham?" I ask jokingly. "Did you get ham?!" What? Is it a problem that I crave pig meat?

No? That's what I thought.

"Actually, yeah, I did." Carly laughs, pulling out my favorite brand of ham. She also takes out a bag of potato sticks and empties them out in a bowl on the table.

"Sweet!" I yank the ham from her hands and open it excitedly.

"Eating pig…" Freddie jokes. "Figures you'd resort to cannibalism eventually."

Ouch. Now _that_ was mean. I narrow my eyes, ignoring the sharp lump forming in my throat, and proceed in my mature solution; slapping a slice of ham at his face with great force.

"You're one to talk." I smirk, watching him gape at the ham stuck to his face. That's what he gets.

"Anyway," Carly ends the argument, as she usually does. "I got…" She pulls out a colorful-looking box. "_Friend-zy_!"

"What the cheese is _Frenzy_?" I ask with emphasis, after a few moments. Freddie leans toward her, interested in what she has to say. I just might puke.

"Not Frenzy, _Friend_-zy, like Friend with a Z!" she explains happily, holding it up so Freddie and I could see the title on the box. "It's a game that tests how well you know your friends!"

"Sounds cool!" Freddie chimes in, way too quickly.

"Sounds _stupid_." I correct, rolling my eyes at the dork.

"Uncalled for."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Oh, come on." Carly says to us. "It's not like we have anything better to do. We planned iCarly yesterday, and it's raining."

I think a moment and then shrug. "This is true."

"Agreed," Freddie adds. "I really don't. Last night after iCarly rehearsal, my mom bombarded me at the door and –"

I can't remember what else he said. I just keep nodding and staring at his eyes, as they move from Carly to me and back to Carly.

People might say his eyes are just boring, old brown. But they're so…_captivating_. It's like they can see right through me, past the rough exterior I display, past my logical thinking and right into my soul. But never my heart. He has no idea what's going on in there. Actually, neither do I really. I confuse myself on a daily basis, and I wonder why I'm so crazy as to think about how much I love dorky, geeky Freddie Benson's eyes. But I do, and I can't stop myself. I stopped trying long ago.

On rare occasion when his eyes are directed fully at me, with laughter or concern, or even anger (yeah, I'm just that pathetic) it gives me those weird butterflies that can only be explained if you've had them before. It's like a good kind of nausea. Wait; can there be a _good_ kind of nausea? Apparently, I guess. But it's because, for even that _second_, I'm on his mind. _Me_.

"…Hello…Sam?" Carly is waving a hand in my face, and immediately I take my gaze off of Freddie. Uh oh. "Freddie ended his story about his mom, like, thirty seconds ago…" He's glancing at me awkwardly now, and Carly questioningly, and I feel like slapping myself for staring at him so long. Ugh, it's not fair! _Why_ does he have to have this affect over me?

It wasn't always like this, at least as far as I can remember. I used to be able to just talk to him, laugh with him, back when we were really young. Before Carly showed up (not trying to be mean here, but before Carly started hanging out with us, Freddie and I _were_ a ton closer. And I liked it that way). Once he fell for Carly, I dunno…I felt sort of tossed to the side, and I took it out on him. And we started arguing until we were nothing more than Carly Shay's bickering friends. So here we are.

"Sorry, I was just staring at that zit on Freddie's face…" I manage to get out, acting appalled. There's no zit on his face. That's got to be the worst cover I've _ever_ done.

"Um…okay…" Carly says. I'm guessing she bought it, but I don't really know. What am I, a mind reader?! "So…the game!"

"Let's do it!" Freddie shouts, opening the box. We set up the game quickly, 'cause all the game is, is three piles of cards, labeled _Facts_, _Opinions_, and _Plans_. Basically, it's just dripping with stupid.

"Can I _not_ do this?" I ask, annoyed with the game already.

Carly sighs. "Fine, Sam. Freddie and I will go first, okay?" I see Freddie's light up. What a surprise. Carly picks up the instructions. "Okay, looks like I have to answer three questions about you from _Opinions_, three from _Facts_, and one from _Plans_. Okay, ready?" Freddie nods. Carly goes straight for the Plans pile. When she reads it, her face pales. "Um…who do you plan on marrying? I'm guessing me, but sorry, not happening."

"Fine, I can wait." He grumbles, crossing his arms. "I swear I'll never fall in love with anyone else. I'm almost positive."

I clench my fists together. Deep breath, Sam. Here I am, a passenger once again. I hate it. Does he really want to pine after Carly for the rest of his life? He's so much better than that. Carly will _never_ love him in that way.

He thinks otherwise. Man, do I hope he's wrong.

I force myself to laugh. "Ha, are you serious, Fredweirdo? You've got no chance." I grab the half-empty (half-full?) bag of potato sticks and dump them on his head.

"Ugh! Sam!" he yells, annoyed. He stands up and brushes all those sticks off his clothes and runs his fingers through his hair, trying to get the ones up there out. Carly's laughing, and I join her. "Some friend you are…"

I stop laughing and frown. He doesn't see though. He never does.

Of course I'm his friend. In fact, I'm probably a better friend to him than Carly ever will be. Sure, I'm harsh sometimes, but at least I'm honest…most of the time. Carly just shoots him down and pushes him away. She has no clue how lucky she is.

I hate to say it, but I'd jump at the chance to date that stupid dork. There's no way around that fact.

"Next question." Carly continues, breaking the silence. She grabs the top card of the _Opinions_ pile. "What is your friend's favorite song? Um…hmm…" Freddie waits patiently for her to answer. She sighs. "I know this…ugh, I know this. Okay, I don't know this."

I sigh. _I do_.

* * *

_"This is the dance for all the lovers_

_Taking a chance with one another_

_Finally it's our time now…"_

_Freddie, Carly and I watched Tom Higgenson, lead vocal of the Plain White T's, as he sang Our Time Now. We were watching the archives on iCarly because we loved their song so much that we wanted to hear it again._

_And it was annoying, but my mind kept moving back to the geek sitting next to me._

_"This song is awesome," he said to me, as Tom moved into the second verse. "I'd say it's my favorite."_

_"Should I care?" I said back, rolling my eyes._

_He stared, confused. "Okay, sorry…"_

_Now I wish I had told him that truth; that it was my favorite, too._

* * *

"It's _Our Time Now_, by the Plain White T's." he tells her. I can tell it bothers him that she didn't know, but of course, I say _zilch_.

"Oh, right." Carly replies, but I know she didn't actually know. Whatever. She takes the next _Opinions_ card. "Next question: What is your friend's favorite color…blue, right?"

* * *

_When I arrived at the iCarly studio, Carly and Freddie were already there planning. Carly was at Freddie's laptop- no clue why - while Freddie was sitting on one of the beanbag chairs, looking over notes while eating gummy bears._

_"Yoink!" I snatched a handful of bears from the bowl, and he looked up at me, annoyed._

_"Why, of course you can have some!" he shouted. "Thanks for asking!"_

_"No problemo." I smirked and looked at the list in his hand, as he took a green gummy bear from the bowl. "So what have we got planned?"_

_"A new Messin' With Lewbert." He said with a slight laugh. "We're gonna put self-destructing citrus fruit all over the lobby!" He took three more green bears from the bowl._

_"Ha, sweet!" I laughed. I glanced down when he took yet another green bear. "Is there a reason why you're only eating the green ones?"_

_"Yup." He smiled, popping another into his mouth. "My favorite color."_

_"Oh, so you wouldn't mind if I did this!" I grabbed the bowl and ran._

_"Sam! No!" He ran after me around the studio. "Can't I at least have the green ones?!"_

_"Yeah, sure!" I said, and laughed as I took out all the bears colored green and threw them at him. I was really enjoying it, actually. These were the times I loved, when even for a minute, he was chasing me and no one else._

_Carly stared at the scene and groaned. "I'll get the broom…"_

* * *

"No…it's green." He says slowly.

"What?" Carly asks, a joke forming. "But blue is _always_ the favorite color!"

"Yeah, just not his." I shrug. "Pick one more from the _Opinions_ pile already!"

"I thought you weren't playing."

"I'm not." I shoot back. "What, I can't _watch_?" She merely shrugs and picks up a card.

"Passive or Assertive?" she reads. "Huh, I guess I'd say you're passive…I mean, you're very subtle about your opinions."

I can't help but roll my eyes. Freddie, _passive_? Sure, he's not abrasive like I am, but man does the guy love to argue.

* * *

_"What's an MPEG?" the police officer asked us._

_"It's a computer video file." Carly explained._

_"Yeah," Freddie confirmed. "MPEG stands for Mega Pixel Electronic Gallery." He started accessing it on his computer._

_Wow. Was I imagining things, or did Freddie just get something wrong?_

_"Wrong!" I told him, walking over. "MPEG stands for Moving Picture Experts Group!"_

_"Mega Pixel Electronic Gallery!" he shot back confidently._

_"Moving Picture Experts Group!" Oh yeah, I was pretty dang sure._

_Carly walked over, obviously wanting to end the argument. "Can't we just say MPEG stands for Most Pimples Enjoy Gravy and move on?"_

_"Sorry but I'm right." I said to Freddie sweetly, ignoring Carly's funny but insignificant comment._

_"Sam, stop it." Carly begged. She didn't like it when we fought. Me? Lived for it._

_"Wanna bet?" Freddie challenged, smirking. I loved our bets, and I also loved that he was ignoring Carly. It was the only time I was more important._

_"No she doesn't!" Carly exclaimed quickly._

_"Yeah, I wanna bet!" I accepted boldly._

_"How come__** I**__ can hear me?" Carly wondered aloud and walked away._

_"Okay, it's a bet." I stated. This was going to be great. "And…the loser…" __**Hmm…oh gosh, just had an idea. I am such an evil genius**__. "...has to get a tattoo of the winner's face!"_

_The thought of my face on Freddie's arm forever made me really happy, as weird as that sounded._

_"Oh, you're on!" he smiled, and we shook hands, sending chills up my entire arm. He turned away to search MPEG on his computer. "But you're gonna be pretty upset when you have to get a tattoo of my face on your – " His eyes widened in horror. I smiled, satisfied. "You were right…I lost…"_

_**Yes!**__ I leaned in really close to him. "And now my face will forever be a part of your skin…bwahh!" He jumped in his seat. __**It's good to win.**_

* * *

"Freddie? Passive? Pfft." I laugh. "The dude gets so offended it's ridiculous!"

"Hey!" he yells.

"See?" I point at him.

"Alright, alright." She sighs. "Let's move on to _Facts_. This should be easier." She picks up one card and reads it out loud. "When is your friend's birthday? Um…hang on, I know it's in the winter sometime…"

_Figures_. Carly's never been very good with birthdays. She knows mine, but only because we're best friends. There's no way she remembers his.

* * *

_"She forgot." He stated sadly, as Carly headed to her next class. It was February 17__th__, 2007._

_"Forgot what, Freddork?" I asked, even though I knew perfectly well what she'd forgotten._

_"Nothing." He grumbled. If I didn't have a rep to keep up, I would've hugged him. He looked so heartbroken and defeated, more than I've ever seen anyone. "Later." He began to walk away when I reached for his shoulder. He turned around._

_I reached into my bag and took out a new pair of headphones (He'd said he'd broken his), wrapped in green wrapping paper with a gold bow on it. I handed it to him, and he looked utterly shocked._

_"Happy Birthday, Dork." I told him with a small smile. I patted him on the shoulder and headed to History class._

* * *

"Uh, yeah, it's in the winter." Freddie nods absentmindedly.

"It's February 17th!" I shout before I can stop myself, and then I cover my mouth. Freddie looks at me, looking pleasantly surprised. "I, uh, remembered, for some reason."

"I was going to say that." Carly says to us. _Sure…_

"Next question." Freddie sighs. He doesn't look very happy. So far, Carly knows nothing. He looks around the room, probably hoping he'll find some form of explanation; some kind of reassurance.

_Hello! I'm__** right here**__! _I want to scream. He just overlooks me again and again. He just doesn't realize. Shouldn't a little light go off in his head after hearing that Carly knows nothing about him? I know it all, though. I've had him figured out for a long time now. Except, of course, for how he really feels about me. I have a feeling I'll never know that.

Carly takes another card. "Does your friend have any siblings? Yes! I know this one! You're an only child." She smiles and sets the card down.

A sadness fills me as I look over at Freddie. He's looking right back at me, and the sadness increases. He looks like he's going to cry. I know he won't though. Freddie may be a geek, but he never cries. If he does, he doesn't let a soul see him.

But it's okay. We've all got our secrets. I mean, I don't let anyone know how I really feel about Freddie. Everyone hides _something_ from the world. That's just the way it is.

* * *

_I was six; a year before I met Carly. I met Freddie when I was five._

_I searched the whole playground for my new friend, trying to find him to play basketball with me at the little hoop. He was nowhere to be found._

_I was really scared. He had been pulled out of class on account of an important phone call. He didn't come back._

_After I checked around the entire back of the school, I snuck by the aids (we weren't supposed to leave the playground during recess) to the front steps. And there he was._

_His head was bowed. I couldn't see his face. "Freddie?" My voice sounded so quiet, even in the silence. His head snapped up and then back down. I thought I saw tears, but I wasn't sure. "Are you sad?"_

_"She can't be gone." I heard him say into his knees. "Sh-she…she can't be gone."_

_"Who?" I sat down, putting an arm around him. "Freddie, who's gone!"_

_"Sarah." He whimpered. His voice was tiny and wavering. I froze, feeling afraid. I remembered Sarah from when I went to Freddie's apartment for play-dates. She was really beautiful; often I wished I was more like her. "Mommy says she went t-to heaven. But I don't want her to go! I miss her! I want her here!" His face was still out of sight when he started bawling hysterically._

_My heart shattered, and I felt tears coming my way as well._

_So I did all I could; I held Freddie close as he hid from the world._

* * *

Freddie says nothing; he simply just lets Carly believe what she wants to believe.

I mouth 'are you okay?' to him, and he merely nods.

"Last question!" Carly continues. "Where did your friend get his/her eye color from? Um…" She looks deep in thought. "Your mom?"

"No, my/his dad." We both say at the same time. We turn to each other, slightly freaked out.

I know his dad quite well. They were divorced since Freddie was young, but he visits Freddie a lot. I used to be there most times. Not anymore though.

But even in old family pictures, you can recognize those deep brown eyes anywhere. At least I can.

"How did you know that?" he asks quietly.

"I know your dad…" I tell him. "Remember?"

"I think I've had enough of this game." He states sadly, hardly even listening to me. My heart sinks yet again. Maybe I should just give up. He's looking over at Carly.

"What's wrong?" she asks, concerned. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't know all the –"

"It's…cool." He says sadly, and he's so obviously lying. _Freddie…_

He stands up and stands there for a moment, looking at the both of us. I hold my breath, hoping, waiting for him to say something, and fighting off the urge to just get up and kiss him.

But he walks away, and I realize that if I _had_ to hold my breath, waiting for that moment, I'd die.

After a minute or so of silence, Carly speaks up. "I should talk to him."

"No, let me." I say firmly, standing up.

"Are you - ?"

"Yes, I'm sure, jeez." I say, only half-jokingly. "I'll be right back."

I quietly exit Carly's room and knock on Freddie's. No answer.

I turn the doorknob to find that it's open, so I walk in.

"Freddie?" I half-yell. No answer, again.

I'm about to leave when I hear the faint sound of a guitar being strummed upstairs. _That's weird_…

I slowly ascend up the stairs, the music getting louder and clearer with each step. The song sounds familiar. Soon, I hear a voice. Freddie's voice. _Freddie sings?_

"You don't know me; you don't even care…oh yeah_…_" Realization hits me. _Boston, by Augustana._ Weird, that's also one of my favorite songs.

"Freddie?" I open the door to his room, and he looks up, shocked.

"Sam?" He grabs his guitar and tries to hide it.

"Too late for a magic act, buddy." I laugh. "I didn't know you could play guitar."

"Yeah, you and everyone else." He sighs. "Puh-_leeeease_ don't tell Carly!"

"Why?" I ask, confused. _Wouldn't he want to, you know, woo her with it or something?_

"I don't know, it's just…" he pauses. "Something I do for _me_. I kind of wanted to keep it to myself, you know? Everyone hides _something_ from the world." And then I realize you shouldn't ever hide. Especially in a passenger seat.

I breathe in deeply.

This is it.

_I'm going to do it,_ I think. _I'm going to tell him…right now. I'm going to tell him that the only reason I insult him is because it's the only way for him to see me, that I wake up every morning, put on makeup, and pray for a miracle; for him to see me as more than Carly's aggressive sidekick, that I don't care how stupid that is. I'm going to tell him how much I miss the good old days when we were best friends…that I'm out of my mind in love with him…Okay, breathe, Sam, breathe._ "Speaking of which, Freddie…." _Here it goes…_ "I –"

He puts his hand up. "Don't even say anything, Sam. I get it."

My heart starts pounding ten times faster than normal. Seriously, I don't think a heart's ever beaten faster than mine is right now. _Does he know? Does he really finally see through it all...?_"You're serious?"

He puts his hand on my shoulder and looks into my eyes. I can't blink. I can't breathe.

"I accept."

_Wait, what? _"Wait, huh? What are you talking about?"

"I accept your apology." He explains, a small smile on his face. He releases my shoulder, and the place where it was feels cold. "For earlier. You know, the ham, the remarks, the potato sticks." He frowns. "I'm really sorry, too. I said some mean stuff. But it means a lot that you'd apoligize, 'cause I know that's not your thing..." I nod, suddenly wishing I was anywhere but here, in front of the dork who stole my heart, lifted it and dropped it without even _knowing_. "So are we okay?"

My eyes start stinging, and my energy fades. _No. He doesn't see._ "Sure we are, geekhead." _He never sees_.

He smiles and nods. "Cool. So I'll see you later?"

"Most likely." I turn away from him dejectedly. "Later, Freddo."

Before I know it, I'm back in Carly's apartment, and everything is the same. And I hate it.

"Is he alright?" Carly asks when I walk in.

"Yeah, yeah, tech boy's just peachy." I mumble.

"Are _you_ okay?" My head snaps up.

"Uh, yeah, why would I not be okay?" I tell her quickly. "I'm the very definition of okay!"

"Well, it's just…" she trails off. "You've been acting really weird around Freddie lately, especially today…and I'm just wondering – please don't kill me – do you _like_ him? Like, as more than a friend?"

So there it is.

My best kept secret out in the open, after all this time. Just like that. Unfortunately I can't let it stay there. At least not now.

So what do I do?

"Me? Like the _dork_?" I say, laughing. "Good one!"

I lie.

* * *

**A/N: Phew, that was a long oneshot. I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you guys weren't too disappointed about Freddie being an idiot like that. I like this ending because it's different. It sort of leaves the reader thinking, you know?**

**Lyrics to I'd Lie, by Taylor Swift.**

I don't think that passenger seat  
Has ever looked this good to me  
He tells me about his night  
And I count the colors in his eyes

He'll never fall in love  
He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair  
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong  
And I don't think it ever crossed his mind  
He tells a joke, I fake a smile  
But I know all his favorite songs

And I could tell you  
His favorite color's green  
He loves to argue  
Born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful  
He has his father's eyes  
And if you ask me if I love him  
I'd lie

He looks around the room  
Innocently overlooks the truth  
Shouldn't a light go on  
Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long  
And he sees everything black and white  
Never let nobody see him cry  
I don't let nobody see me wishin' he was mine

I could tell you  
His favorite color's green  
He loves to argue  
Born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful  
He has his father's eyes  
And if you ask me if I love him  
I'd lie

He stands there, then walks away  
My God, if I could only say  
I'm holding every breath for you

He'd never tell you  
But he can play guitar  
I think he can see through everything but my heart  
First thought when I wake up is  
My God, he's beautiful  
So I put on my make-up  
And pray for a miracle

Yes, I could tell you  
His favorite color's green  
And he loves to argue  
Oh, and it kills me  
His sister's beautiful  
He has his father's eyes  
And if you ask me if I love him...  
if you ask me if I love him...  
I'd lie

**Link To Song (this video is not mine, it is a Seddie fan video made by ShannonInOurHearts):**

http : / youtube . com / watch?v QDN01GD3-Q

**Don't forget to close the spaces! If the link doesn't show up, PM me or just look up I'd Lie Sam Freddie on YouTube.**

**Once again, thank you to Shizuku Tsukishima749 for the idea!:)**

**-Colors**


End file.
